yesterday i went to the senior formal~~~~thas the first time~~haha actually a bit wierd to me...

he told me maybe it was not sold out yet....that moment, i got really moved, it is possilble that i can hav the maple, the one really lyk that maple leaf*....but...still not sure...i tried to check it out, but...it didnt .....

the unit1 exams ended yesterday..... thats the first formal exam i set in Australia, and its become the first one, which made me feel so sorri of my study....duno why, somthin lost, somthin so sarcastic for me and sonthin is still not sufficient......

i found a pic few days age, and i named it 葉枯過*，i want to look for it, lyk have it somday.... its called Autumn Sugar Maple..and it has been sold out..maybe i can never get it...

lots of ppl lyk listening songs randomly, whenever or any situations~~~ but i lyk listening to different songs from different singers in different situations i met....love chris when i need his voice*, pick up lee hom when i want to be extremely distressed, find jay when i lost somthin or sombody and i know i will never get it bak, repeat shin's album again and again when i feel hopeless and lost......

since the last termination, i even didno what actually i wanted to end or what actually could be ended up. by now, i gotta the answer even i am still in a dilemma, which is quite satisfying me as i can only concentrate on my disaster works...

just terminate it

happi birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kathy(shujia)!!~~~~~~~

tody is k*'s birthday~~da 17th bday, our 4 gud fris ( ariel* alicia* kathy* and me) went 2 city~~~k* is so addicted 2 sushi (变态生日想吃的都这么特别～～）, so we went 2 gigi 4 da chicken*and sushi~~~which drove a*crazy again, it would be a real mystery that once alicia can get rid of da eels~~~

then we went 2 holys 4 a new released film which called No.23*, looks lyk a thriller, k* is really excited ab that~~ actually it was not that frightening....but........she was so scared that she continuously 折磨我～～我可怜的衣服啊～～～is it really reflecting my not distant future???? oh ~~~

a hot chocolate which is called suckao*, duno why???? a* introduced us 2 a place lyk chocolate bar~~~really nice and curious, we all lyk it and da beautiful suckao & cakes^_^

happi~~~happi~~~~~~~~~al da tim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tody i got a talk with my fri which referred to sth ab isolation and changes. she sed sth(which should be really important) has gone, just lyk she lost som initial attachment of luv (4 fris and 4 whatever she used 2 treasured）..... thats true, but actually we still cant step bak, or i can say we hav already had a tendency of escaping fr da daily reality 4 such a long tim.....even we cant identify da existence of it.


i never believe sth can be our doom, sth can be ultimate....i lyk 2 say these words " just move on and c how it is going on...."


thats 4 al of us...as somtims we disrupted by da messy surrounding and our sensibility, we cant maintain anything 4rever, they evolved unknown, and most of them r temporarily flashed, i know it and i think u know as well...................

gosh....gosh....really unfortunate tody!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hav 2 say badminton may be 2 challenging 4 me as i fell over and hurt my ankle during da sports time......thats da first time i made such a silly mistake, and i should take a noticeable consideration of da experience, so as draw a lesson fr it---- if u r involving into som events, just be concentrated on wat u r actually doing and get rid of wat will distract or interupt u, otherwise its really dangerous and may ignite severe consequence on ur body or mind!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh!!!!!!no~~~who hav any idea 4 me to soothe da pain!!!its getting worse now!!!! and really annoyed~~~

gigi?????? who r u ????? i thought u r one of my fris, but acually u r not da guy i considered...... r u in my college????

now, i eventually got such a dramatic ending~~~some unconscious words (actually now i dont know whether i sed to a wrong person or a right one...maybe i should say it long time ago ) ~~so ironic and definitely reflected what i used to say~~" i got an end as i even havnt had a real start...."

so now, da wise choice is leaving everything aside and just looking forward to psychology and pharmacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and clearly thinking ab where i should go~~~~ (i found that i lyk 2 change more fequently recently...becoz i always stay w/ 善变女！！)

2 be seriously, these 2 r required very high entry scores(i hav 2 say, either of da 2 is such a shit!!!!more than 96???? how can?????), and actually i dont really appreciate the new cource arrangement in mel uni~~~~so just looking 4 other possible choices~~i dont want 2 spend da whole year on a major which actually i hav no idea!!!!!!!!!i like going straightly 2 what i want~~ so wake up now!!!! and open da window, then 1~2~3~JUMP!!!(i m leaving in da ground~~~)

so i wont waver this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just kick him ouTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

da first week of term 2 could be a bit ..lon 4 me~~~i found everythin useless has completely gone now, thats made me feel released and calm.... i wil restart 2 be myself fr now on and go as my normal lyf...leave those* things and ppl out (w/ noticable consideration) ...its 2 tired 4 me 2 think of them, i m so bored......and really want 2 get rid of them~~~~

its rainin yesterday....i lyk rainin.......and i lyk 2 be wet...wherever it is, i never tak 伞*........

last nyt i sent som ms 2 my niuniu, really sweet and happi la~~~and we wil get a specific talk* af 5.1^_^ be really expected~~~hah!!! somthin bw NF*(da dead fish) and 不良？？？他敢调戏他！！！crazy la!!!niuniu, 帮我干掉你同桌啊～～～～


da same expectation w/ a*~just get better on da test (esp. on psych and chem, dont want 2 drop at al!!!!!! and never accept a disaster on da midyear report!!!!really concern ab it, so just concentrate on such things la~~~~~~)


da rest of my lyf r lyk---havin hun w/ my fris~~do wat i really want~~~totally ignore som of da things and ppl~~~~ wait 4 da end of year 2 c him and say everythin clearly then(dont want 2 get reject!!!!>_<....)

the first day of term 2.....somhow found many ppl changed durin da holi (esp on da hairstyle.....but som got inside change 2, hard 2 say wat it is.....i was 2 calm and peaceful wen i saw him....thats great!!!)

today's highlight could be....... i thought my psych teachers gone 2 da camp, and i told sonny that made him really happi 2 (really excited....and lookin forward 2 da class w/o teacher!!!!^_^!!!! ) but why shes still here??????...dumb



in addition, iris sed (in psych expression)----the more intensely u lyk a person, the less the lyklihood will be that u show him the affection directly, except the situation when u r totally anonymous.

owow.......dont know why i really want 2 paint!!! but a pity!!!~~~no equipment here>_<....

lookin @ da old paintings 4 a long while...and i recalled wat i thought wen initially finished da 1 of Cain* （anyone who can draw me a proper mouth 4 Cain, i would marry him~~~~~~~^_^), now there is impossible 2 draw him a mouth, becoz da dye cant melt into da original pic any more, its been so long tim.......

actually any painting requires da passion of da painter, but i seemed 2 be really low-spirited on paintin 4 1 years......this tim da inspiration!!!!!!!!!!comin bak....yet now i cant paint....

somhow da paintings can be considered as my life in china......really miss da mates in my class (esp. my nuinui*, my neighbour tai, yanyan, mengmeng, moon.......and as well as him)* every tim wen i think of their expression and any slight action, i can feel very calm and inspired........lyk they r still around me and never leavin..........

today, iv got a talk w/ my mum ab da uni major again ....gosh..every tim lyk this--no definite decision 4 myself and becom more confused of reality, maybe i m stil not mature, so iv always been so impetuous，stil be not sure wat actually i want. initially, iv so insisted 2 study psych and considered everythin would be assured, but practically nobody supported my choice and my mum sed "u probably change ur mind as da tim goes by, i m pretty sure... u would find sth more, more than ur thought and ur original intention, so its 2 early 2 determine ur future....." thats da first tim i hav 2 think ab why studyin abroad seriously......

it seems that everyone has their own goals to achieve, they study wat they wil practice in their major (BM+AC 4 COMMERCE; BIO+CHEM 4 DOCTOR; ARTS+DESIGN 4 DESIGN....) and mostly can satisfy their families, wat ab me?? PHYS+PSYCH+CHEM=????? actually phys is 4 free tim, chem should be important, but now be da lowest of da 3, psych is absolutely a disaster....dumb...

maybe my mum is right and wise, maybe i am 2 subjective and persistent on it. ...

i m heraldin my 18th birthday!!!!!

got the first benediction at oo:oo fr a* and as wel as my other friends'(in mel and in china)!!!!!!!!!!!!! really happi!!!!!!!!i think its great birthday in my life....taihao sed i 'd better find a japanese guy*, otherwise he wil always worry ab it*..... (bu*~~~~); my nuinui thought its a good start 4 him and me , hope so la, but i hav 2 make sure i didnt consider him as NF* (maybe its a good end actually);they all really concern aB my taste!!(esp. 4 NF*???? i m tasteful and fussy on it!!).....so wat do u think???so miss u guys!!!



actually i want 2 hear ur voice now...i know its impossible...but can u just say sth.. watever it is....this time u put me down again, just as before u did.....


11:20*-----自從那一次的月半彎之后， 他似乎成為了一道舊傷口，許久沒有聽到了，因為總是刻意地囬避着，偏偏在今晚無意中聽到了，我覺得這似乎代替了你的聲音。。。。即使並非你的囬應。。。。so can i say this time 。。i hear ur voice*.........

holi is gettin borin now......i m really afraid of any holi al alon(become lazy~)......one week left.....dumb..zz~~~

so fa i stil cant use myspace*---why!!!...always sth wrong, and i always fogort sth 2... so i got like"simple things r da best." i luv da simple one i got..

a* said the oldest one* is so impressive and unforgettable....i said yea*....i did 2.....i cant deny he is stil in, never leavin, and i cant forget at al....i didnt tel u anythin, but i never regretted of my decision...

and i stil got no idae to tell 搁浅* from 轨迹*......

waitin 4 my 18th birthday, so long....12:01

went 2 the great ocean road....it could be a tour of sleepin, becoz most of the time we were on bus.....but really beautiful marine area and pasture！！！！hapi..hapi..lala!!!

somhow i couldnt sleep at al....z~z~z~~~~

dear!!!!!!!!!!!..........really enjoy this birthday!!!we can be together....and i hope we wil be together forever!!!!!!

"ne......小a*....somhow i found i was a 路痴**too...ahha!!"i cant find the bus station today.....no idea!!!........

its time 2 go!!!! i cant wait 4 tomorrow!!!..................................

its gone.......wat or who i did care ab wil not exist any more.....but i m really happi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

somtims i feel like.....there must be sth i can never reach.....whenever it is

today yi* told me..... she got extreme compassion for sb, she longed to do sth for her, but somhow she cant do al of them...i think so......now in dilemmas...............................


been happy for 2 days....actually been still vacant....done nothin......but been always busy and sleepy.......

u might trick me......i thought so....well i'd like to giv up.........

today i got my first birthday present (9 days earlier.......) from a*(果然有够变态！！！嘿嘿）
really like it!!!!!!!!!!!!its the one we saw yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!

thank u!!!!my dear!!!!!

go to great ocean road on 5th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

always sth wrong w/ my msn....last night and this morning.........crazy la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday!!!!

ha....p..p..y birthd...ay!!!!! actually yichen's birthday was yesterday...yet we went out today......for eating!!!!!....really excited ab that......

i think i am fine now....ok la...我基本上近期不虐你了****




really happy made my birthday on 7th, as we can go together!!!!!!!!

hapii birthdy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today term 1 finished!!! i thought he was probably really happy al day long......he could be....

tomoro wil be terrific!!!! folllowin days should be boring........2 weeks???

plan to go to somewhere w/ u guys before my birthday.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

really moved.....

it was the end of the story.....i like the end with happiness.......really appreciate.....i m so looking forward to tomoro, watever wil happen seems to be not important.....now i prefer to be vacant along.......

你要的不是我*。。。

怎么能忘，时间多长，你快乐吗，想代替你回答。你知道吗，走了好远我才能去面对这份牵挂，沉默伤悲。你要的不是我，心碎的失去轮廓，曾经给你的感动，只是情绪的波动。能给的不是我，放任你沉溺自由，掩饰不了我的笨拙，就连说话都会颤抖，我被遗忘在你遗忘的角落。我被遗忘在你遗忘的角落。。。。。


somehow i really desire once u can sing this song for me, really desire as the time i left china......now i m thinking of the words again and u*.......

today i m happy!!!!but may not sleep (too much work!!!), that is the last week of term 1, then wat i can do on holiday???

i'd like every single day can be like today......ur smile made me happy.....she is always 善变*.....he is like a baby.......and finally he lost the wry face...!!!!

someone been really sensitive these days....including me.....everyday i expect sth of him, but he does always disappoint me someway......ok anyway, i do still expect one day u never upset me any more......

been really exhausted al day.....test came back, not satisfied with it at al....actually i do never care ab the mark, wat i mind is how i felt during the test condition....it was a disaster for me, this period of time seemed to be so remarkable as i was manipulated completely by the terrible anxiety.....

something else could be vacant....except he* got a wry face, but he is really happy.....

holiday is coming soon!!!but 3 tests, 1 project, and some new stuff will come first.....!!!!no idea!!


now...really looking forward to MR BEAN*.....!!!!!!

i wil never tel u wat i m thinking ab since i knew u had ur gf already......wat i rather like to do is wish u 2 can be happy every single day .....and i wll always be here....quietly.....

now..coming back........my nightmare

i was waking up with a start in the midnight......as my nightmare coming back again with a sudden scream-----*wrong*!!!!i knew sth i had ignored since i couldnt remember wat it was, i really begged it was just my illusion but it seemed to be unavoidable, as i coundnt never get rid of my coming nightmare this time......it will continue....as endless.....



today my brain is undergoing decay again with a high level ionisation......like lying in ruins.....

i went to a Chinese restaurant in somewhere in zone 3, anyway, the boss hadnt employ any efficient waiters as they were all like torpor with extremely slow move(the rhythm like --------.---------......slower then snail.....then forget wat i had ordered completely.....stop...)-----may be half deaf.....i didnt want to ask one more time which demonstraded the audience inhibition* again!!!

u r the last ferry for me as i recognised nothing went right......

today i got 2 stressful and crapped test on mm and psych, i hav done every single question unconsciously.........dizzy and nervous.......

i coudnt find my summary book before the mm test..wat the hell!!!!i begged that one who took my book would not throw it away.......so as the stupid calculator, the only one chance i used it ------got an exactly wrong value, later i even coudnt remember how many times i got a *false*over it......tricky tests today......

well i had wasted one period on setting goals as i knew i wouuld never obey it at all. though i put some stuff like pass vce by A+*(maybe never come true...), travel to Ireland and study forensic or physiological psych(without any consideration actually.....felt mixed-up now)......but wat i like is not too far away from him even he completely ignores me.......

well...today is a destructive start ......everything i did was all wrong!!!!------how come!!!

and wat is really disgusting*(actually confused)......is who i like is not that guy!!!!wat i thought before......deny it completely now and i 'd like to shoot myself for countless times as i lost the right one intentionally......